Thursday, January 29, 2015


I'm trying hard to smile, to laugh, and moreover to think. Think, Insani! Think! It isn't hard, is it? 

Over two weeks, I feel that I used my energy too much, it's too much until I forgot "Ah, what the hell, I still have so much energy left" that kind of thinking actually helped a lot to reach our goals but after all the body couldn't lie. Although, I keep telling myself that I'm fine and I'm okay, but the action showed the differences. The body and soul couldn't get synergy together. My mind told to do so but the nerves commanded in different ways. I couldn't explain why my energy got so wasted lately. I'm actually fine if I was depleted energy because of something that use my physics. But, I don't know why either, but if the matter is about psychology, I surrender and I feel that my brain is so useless right now. And all the tears had already dried up. I couldn't even cry and that lead to the sleepless night. OMG!

May some people know about my situation, may some people take me to this uncomfortable zone. May some people are trying to help me overcome this situation by stand beside me or may some people are trying to get me out of this hell. 

People won't hope anything like this, who wants this kind of situation? It's holy crap! Because I feel that after I overcome one kind of situation, there will be another pain, another distorted mind. It's like rubbing a salt in the almost-recovery wound. It's not yet closed but it has to be opened again. Open by force, and it's not nice. At all. 

After all this time, all I keep trying to do is understanding my position, situation, more and more, tougher and tougher.
Be grateful, Insani, you can get beautiful learning from these pain. Be a blissful person and make a wiser decision. Lead the way, and just do it! Bear it, and keep walking forward!

don't stay but go,

Insani Zulfa 

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