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Thursday, October 29, 2015

What a lovely difference - Part 1

Hello universe!

Apa kabar? How's life? Sudah cukup lama saya melalui hari-hari tanpa bercuap-cuap di mini-website yang saya miliki ini. Ya, hampir 1 bulan 14 hari, saya pergi merantau di negeri orang, dengan budaya baru, orang baru (yang belum dikenal sebelumnya, atau bahkan dekat sebelumnya), dan terlebih lagi, cara belajar yang baru. 
Menurut saya, memang terlihat bahwa begitu banyak perbedaan antara negara kita dengan negara maju, mungkin yang saya bahas disini, adalah Inggris (ya, salah satu alasannya adalah karena saya mengalaminya). Tetapi, begitu banyak perbedaan tidak berarti tidak ada persamaan, masih ada beberapa hal yang sama antara dua negara dengan jarak puluhan ribu kilometer ini. 
Pelajar dari Indonesia, banyak berkata bahwa sistem belajar di negeri orang terkadang dan terkesan jauh lebih mudah, lebih enak dibandingkan di Indonesia. Menurut saya, 75% memang begitulah adanya, begitulah keadaannya (secara umum dan kasarnya). Well, sekarang persoalannya adalah, dengan sistem edukasi yang bisa dibilang lebih angel (sulit) di Indonesia, kenapa outcome atau dalam hal ini mungkin SDM kita jauh berbeda? Mengapa bisa begini? 

Beberapa hal yang menjadi refleksi diri untuk saya sendiri beberapa minggu terakhir ini dan mungkin salah satu faktor yang bisa kita pakai untuk memperbaiki diri kita, teman, keluarga, dan tentunya Bangsa Indonesia.

1. Simple or complete lecture note?

Apabila mau dibandingkan, lecture note atau PPT, disini sangat sedikit dibandingkan dengan PPT yang diberikan dosen sewaktu saya menempuh kuliah di Indonesia! Cukup poin-poin penting, tanpa ada penjabaran! Disinilah perbedaannya, disini kita diharuskan untuk memahami bukan menghafal. Apakah maksudnya ini semua? Saya diberikan kesempatan untuk membuka lebar-lebar isi otak saya, mengharuskan saya membaca setumpuk buku tebal dan melakukan referensi terkini mengenai teknologi-teknologi terbaru di bidang saya. Well, experiment and experience will always be the best teacher for you. Menurut saya, akan lebih baik bila mahasiswa didorong untuk menimba ilmu, memperkaya ilmu, dengan usahanya sendiri. Menurut saya sendiri, dosen merupakan penyalur bagaimana kita bisa mengetahui ilmu-ilmu baru, tetapi bukanlah tugas mereka untuk memberi tahu kita seluruh informasi ataupun pengetahuan yang beliau miliki. Terapkanlah, bahwa kita menginjak bangku kuliah, paling tidak diatas umur 15 tahun, yang hal itu berarti kita sudah cukup besar dan sudah mampu untuk berusaha dengan apa yang kita miliki.


2. Lecture time

Sebelumnya, saya menempuh pendidikan untuk mendapatkan gelar sarjana di UGM (hampir seluruh universitas memiliki peraturan yang sama).  Dimana, saya harus kuliah dari pagi (jam 7) sampai siang (at least jam 11/jam 1 siang). Selesai kuliah, saya diharuskan mengikuti praktikum dari jam 1 siang sampai dengan jam 4 sore (paling cepat-terkadang bisa sampai jam 6 atau jam 7 malam), dan ini bisa saya lakukan hampir setiap hari, dari hari Senin-Jum'at. Total saya kuliah 8-9 jam per hari. Ini tidak termasuk masih banyaknya tugas perkuliahan dari dosen, laporan praktikum, presentasi atau bahkan aktivitas organisasi.
Sedangkan, disini saya kuliah hanya dari jam 9 pagi sampai 11 siang. Kemudian jam 2 siang sampai 4 sore. Total kuliah 4 jam per hari. Tanpa praktikum dan waktu kuliah tidak full dari senin-jum'at.

Apa bedanya? Walaupun waktu kuliah, sit in lecture memang hanya 4 jam, kita dibekali dengan "silahkan belajar mandiri". Inilah, tantangan sebenarnya. Saya boleh saja berdiam diri di dorm ataupun ke library untuk membaca dan melengkapi materi kuliah saya. Saya diperbolehkan pergi ke laboratorium (secara mandiri). Semua jadwal, terserah saya. Semua deadline, terserah saya. Tidak akan ada dosen yang mengingatkan deadline ujian, deadline tugas, atau menjelaskan kisi-kisi materi ujian. Mereka hanya memberi rekomendasi tentang buku yang baik. Dan saya bisa mencarinya atau tidak sama sekali. As i said, it's my decision, whether I want to stroll around in the bed or in the library.

3. Bacalah buku! Baca dan baca!

Well, this isn't the first time that you will ever hear this phrase. Ini memang membawa banyak manfaat untukmu nantinya. Jangan hanya membaca buku untuk mencari 1 atau 3 paragraf dalam menulis reports. Bacalah secara menyeluruh, karena disitu kita akan paham seluruh info yg ingin penulis sampaikan ke pembaca (secara menyeluruh, tidak separuh-separuh). Bukankah kamu ingin mendapatkan sesuatu hal secara utuh dan bukannya setengah atau sepertiganya? 
Membaca sendiri  dari buku atau jurnal (tanpa penjelasan dari orang lain aka dosen atau teman) bisa sangat membantu saya atau mungkin kamu untuk memahami seluruh materi atau informasi. Kita bisa mencernanya memahaminya bukan hanya mengingatnya (memorize something is good, but, it's better to understand). Kalau bisa dibilang, dengan pemahaman, bobot kamu memang unggul 90-100%.

4. Bekali dirimu dengan tulisanmu!

Walaupun harga stationery atau buku disini sangat mahal, tapi, mungkin inilah yang membuat orang-orang disini lebih doyan menulis. Dengan menulis, curahan pikiran atau ide mereka bisa tersalurkan dan tidak hanya mampir sejenak di otak. At least, if you write down your thought, you can remember what it is again when you simply forget about that
Bagaimana menulis yang baik? Bagaimana prosedurnya? Adakah syaratnya? TIDAK! Tidak ada syarat menulis yang baik. Yang ada adalah bagaimana karyamu tulisanmu bisa membuat orang lain yang membacanya paham akan maksud dan tujuan yang ingin kamu sampaikan. Well, you don't want to write something that only you who understand about those writings, do you?
Cobalah menulis yang sesuai dengan apa yang hendak kamu katakan secara lisan. Bukan sekedar tulisan yang bertele-tele, atau ngalor ngidul. Tetapi, straight to the point. You can write your thoughts with simple explanation but logical reasons
"lebih baik memulai menulis (membuat sesuatu) daripada hanya sekadar membaca dan berkomentar mengenai karya orang lain, karena, bukankah lebih baik memberi daripada diberi?"
Cobalah lebih dan lebih banyak menulis. It's better late than never. It's better to keep practicing than comment towards other people's work.


Mungkin, saya hanya bisa bercuap-cuap, mengeluarkan apa yang saya pikirkan dalam bentuk tulisan. Saya berharap tulisan saya bisa menjadi salah satu tulisan yang bisa membantu anda untuk refleksi diri dan secara sedikit demi sedikit meningkatkan kesadaran kita semua untuk membangun Indonesia ke arah yang lebih baik. Silahkan menanggapi, menyanggah, ataupun memberikan saran. 


Salam,

Zulfa

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

"how to forget and forgive" challenge

There comes a time which you want to reverse something. There comes a time when you want to repair what you didn't mean to. There comes a time when you want to put it back in better condition. But, it's a time. It's not something, it's not a thing, but a time, moments, which you won't be able to reverse something. It's like some old sayings, what's already happened, just happened, nothing you can do to repair it. True. Definitely!

You will regret something. You will regret why you did that or regret why you spill your guts that time. May, you wanted to express it, but you did a little bit "too much". You regret it. You wanted it to be like that, but it turned out to be like this. You wanted to understand but it became misunderstanding. All of those lead into worse scenarios. 

I have a lot of time feeling like this. Because I'm kind of person who couldn't move on easily, couldn't let go of hard times easily. I'd like to hold that things, my hard times. But, it's a bad thing, It's not good. It's either become grudges or fears. For me, it becomes fears, It's hard for me to fight that bad memories (I'd end up regretting and push myself hardly). I kept push myself, that I couldn't do that, because that person will go mad like the past (eventually it's not always true) - See, people will react different than their past, but me, I'm still struggling, holding that past memories, my fears, which eventually will turn the table even worse. 

I'm not that great comforting someone or make another different topics to help them sort out our misunderstanding. I'd end up saying a lot of random and unnecessary conversations which were so boring. Stuck and no expectations at all. Regretting and couldn't do anything. Unforgettable and always live beneath in my mind. Those hard times. I live with them till now. I live with them as I couldn't express my mind peacefully and carefully. It's not only I don't want becoming their burden but also I can't express what's on my mind easily. - Like something hold my mind, not to tell them, having my own imagination about how they react-which actually will not be their response 

My brutal kind of thinking. My hard time pushing myself on the limit. It's boring to talk about that. I'm regretting and can't reverse anything. Then, here I am, still on the same site, still on the same boat, still hold that principle, and still

One of my last year resolution was "reflect yourself and see what's your want around period of times, see the other people's mind and mood as you see on yourself". Well, I did that. I really did that. I reacted calmly, watching the situation carefully, saying all the advice properly without hurting their feeling (in my point of view-). But, I think it's not the case, it seems that I'm to dull to do that. Yeah, I admitted that I'm less affection towards other, care less towards someone I love. But, for me, that reflection, my last year resolution, I did that poorly. I did like what I wanted, but it didn't turn out well. I'm still leaking. And I, I still hurt those people. 

Do I have to push my mind until I'm being absent-minded? Do I have to let go of my hard time, so I could show my affection towards them? Do I, do I, do I?



Zulfa, I H

Thursday, July 2, 2015

A preference

People will have to choose whether they want to share their moments with others or not. They want to share it or bury it with their own. Some people tend to share whatever on their minds, bad or good, they just want to share with everyone. While some others, like to bury whatever they have or do, on their own. It's all about preference. What do you prefer? Share or hide it.

And what do I prefer? I prefer to do whatever on my own. I prefer to think about my feeling alone. But as I grow older, I tend to think that it's better if I share my happiness with others. Why do I keep my happiness, if there will be a lot more people who feel that happiness? And I try to share my happiness, little by little, I change myself slowly. Maybe it will make other feel the convenience. Well, I still think it's better to share happiness, isn't it??

However, sometimes, it seems that people want to know about your life so much. It's a little too much until you find it so annoying. Furthermore, people seem want to know more about the dark side, your sadness, your gloomy days. They will ask you questions which force you to answer it. But me? I still hold my preference. I don't like giving statements to person which don't know about me at all. I keep my sadness and try to think about the solutions by myself. Well, a lot of people don't like that. They think that I should share about my pain, just to reduce my hard feeling. And I resist that, I don't like giving burdens to others, so sorry :( 

Yeah, everything has its risk. And I take my own risk. It leads to others think that I'm such a public enemy. Why? Because there were several bad rumours about me, yet I never denied nor explained it. Somehow, I felt pathetic in those times because I couldn't hold up and stand for my own. But, public has their own way to understand the situation. They will always believe in such rumours without verify or look deeper onto that. That's why rumours will always give you much weight whether you can keep it up or not.

I had those worst conditions twice, I kept by myself. And twice, I was being a coward who couldn't protect my own self. They called me anything they liked, they ditched me, and made me cried a lot. But thank you, I learned a lot. I learned who my real friends are and how to handle that worst situation.

"As time goes by, a lot of things will happen. Through good time and bad time, people will learn, so they can make wiser decision"

Warmest,

Zulfa 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

A reflection

Hello, readers! How's life? I hope you have a good one. Some problems don't mean bad, but think about those as a lesson. And some incredible things don't mean that you have to be so proud of yourself, but take it to make others feel those happiness, share it, and I believe you will feel double happiness.

Maybe some of you think that you have a boring life, while some others think that they live a beautiful life. While some others think they lead a life in such ridiculous way, when others they live in serious way. Well, as I said, it depends on you, it will always depend on how you take your life for.

A reflection, sometimes people need that. People need it to reflect their attitude not their personality. May some people made you live a hard life which you had to stand strong, and struggle alone. But, be grateful, you had one step forward, to reflect that you don't need to have those behaviour. Don't keep the behaviour which you can make other feels miserable. I think it's not wise. And I think, it's not wise too if you treat others like your past treat you. You can have those defense towards your past, but I think it will be wiser if you don't take those defense on how you treat your today's people or future's people.

When you hear cruel words which those are mean to you, like 
"It's weird if people bla bla bla or blu blu blu"


Well, it's true, even your very best friend or boyfriend or family may know your condition, but back at one, it's all coming back to you who understand yourself better than anyone. But, i think it'll be better if you aren't arguing about those things. Because it looks like put oil into a flame, which will make a direct flame towards you. And not all of the things in this world, have to understand you all the times. Just let it be, not all silence means you accept the condition, but it may prove that you are not spoilt person.
And as for me, I'll keep those mean words to my own. Keeping as my reflection, not because what they talk is the truth, but why i have to force my condition and my argument to the people who don't know me instead of judge me. But, maybe, I'll cry on my own, hugging my pillow tightly, and scream as loud as I could. Well, maybe it won't disturb other if I do so. But, don't be afraid, if you say mean words to me, I'll try not take your favor, I'll keep my good behaviour to you. I'll try and I'll keep trying. And this is not just words, I'll take it in my action too.

Everything that comes around in this life, try to figure it out from other point of view. If they can't do that, maybe you can just do it. Why are we have to become mean person if being nice person is better?

Warmest regards,

Zulfa

Friday, May 8, 2015

Lullaby

When you feel lost, when you feel about something you don't really understand. And when the word like "may" comes stronger than "will".But not only that, it's a time when holding your own principle and living your life seems wrong. In this mean time, just wanna deep breath, take a look at the stars, listen to some old songs (perhaps the old lullaby), and rest your head

"Sometimes, all you need to do is listen to your childhood's lullaby, and simply remember those nice memories. No need to ask better anymore"


 So, be thankful with everything that you have,
warmest,

Zulfa

Saturday, March 7, 2015

The devil wears glasses

I'm watching a movie right now, and the story is like this.....

There was a girl. She's a very care and bright girl, who always do anything in a clear mind for her love one. But something happened. Something that forced her too much, which she felt like being pushed too much. And so, she came back, finally. into a very different person. With new mind set, new soul, and new heart. Don't ask her  about that care girl! That care girl had gone too far. A girl that once cared too much for everyone and everything. No longer cared at all. She turns to be a very hateful, spiteful, and baddest girl.

And then, she lured someone. Someone that supposed not to be taken of. Someone that's already taken. She found him, in a good way. She found him, like a long lost child, who will longing to him all day long. She found him like she face herself. Like God's putting a mirror to her and watch herself out, through that man. And in the times, she knew about that fact, the fact about that taken man. She learnt it slowly, she tried to let go of the heart, and she tried to close the heart once again.

She, learnt it solos. She talked to herself a lot. That devil, only mumbled to herself. That devil, only cried alone. That devil, wanted to take out her life. She cried and cried, she asked herself, that once she felt doubt to fall in those situations but keep on doing that. She, with all that powers left, only hate herself even more. She, with the whole world changing, wanted to runaway. Alone, with no one in her current life knowing. She wanted to start a new fresh beginning. Let go the past alone. Let go the past that full of questions. A past with entitled her with being "the third wheel".

But, she. only remained on that state. No move, after all. She lived with that man and pretending nothing happen. It killed her heart. It killed her sanity. She became a fully devil,who doesn't care about other's feeling. About, her own feeling later, if something bad might happen. She walked that path, she cried through that path, and she calmed herself down lonely.

And then the girl that had the taken man, came. She didn't know what really happened, and that's why the devil walked away. Walked away from that frame of life. She walked away on her own. She walked away without that taken man knowing, She, cried once again. She began to reminiscence her past.  How came her life turned out to be like that. She only asked her questions to that taken man in the thin air, in her sleepless night. She might feel a lot more burdens on her shoulder. But she had taken a vow, that no matter what will happen to her fall with that man, she would never interfere his business with her first angel. She would definitely let herself remained in silence.

The devil got her lessons, the devil understood the situation. And now, she only keeps thing to herself. Without no one knows, what really happen to her. She doesn't want to bring anyone in her life again. At least, for now.  She starts to like enjoying the lonely life. She's starting that life, in this moments.

How about you? Do you ever feel like being that kind of person? And finally, I tell you this. Don't ever judge a person, you don't know about their past nor about their goal. Just try to live beside them, try to enjoy their life. 


stay or go, whatsoever



Insani Zulfa


Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Yin and Yang

There will always come a time like this. A moment like this. A moment when you feel disappointed, angry, sad, or anxious because things didn't turn out like what you want or seems like it wouldn't turn out like what we wish it would. In times, it often happens because we expect those things too much. We give them too much hopes. We give them too much spaces in our heart, mind, and soul. And it's not good. It's toxic. 

In life, things happen beyond our imagination. Things happen like our brain couldn't always reach those. May, for sometimes, things happen uncontrollable and we feel it's so unbearable. We as a human being only create those opportunities, make it through our own best efforts, make it our best shots, and leave the rest to God. So let it be. Things will come alright if we prepare ourselves to anything that might happen. It's good to have positive imaginations but it's also good to redeem ourselves by thinking what's negative outcomes that might happen too. Try to live in balance

Because life, isn't always about a win-win. Life isn't perfect, neither are we. Don't push your mind into believing that things will run out perfectly too. It's killing you, dear. Softly and slowly. God creates us so that we create something good, make it better in times, but never force us to make things be the best. Neither are we, we're never being forced by God to become the best person but being our own best version. It means, try to do what it's good and leave the bad. Only that. Simple, isn't it? God let us live a very simple life so don't make it complicated, sweetheart. 

We always seek the opportunities, make every solution which outrageous. But, God always has the best plans for us. So enjoy the ride and live your joyful life. People may come and go, may change and remain the same. Accept it. Let it flow through your vein of life. Go through it. Let yourself grow and become mature so that you can become a better version of yourself each and every day, with our without the support from the people that we wished we would always have. Because we live, and sometimes we lose but also gain people in our lives. Don't ever make your life become miserable. Because, maybe, we also don't have enough space for too many people in our hearts, we also don't have enough strength for things to be thought in our brain. 


Live your life, which you will always feel content, tolerant, and grateful


Regards,


Insani Zulfa